Their issue, not mine.


A few years ago, I was informed on-line by an individual that “truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” Then, I was given no opportunity to respond. I had to decide not to take no ownership of that person’s feelings. They do not belong to me, especially when this individual’s negativity was an outcome to my love and concern, (my goodwill was unwanted and rejected).

In this article, I am going to chew on this statement and digest it a bit, “Truly loving other people means understanding who they are and treating them the way THEY want to be treated, not the way you think they should be treated.” I do not agree with this statement, as I believe that people should be treated as you wish to be treated (not THEY).

I cannot presume how another wants to be treated. I do not read minds, especially with online communications. At least face-to-face, you can read the other person’s expression; and, over the phone you can hear inflections in their voices. How am I suppose to know how anyone wants to be treated unless he or she directly tells me? Which brings up a very good point, inform people (congenially) how you wish to be treated. Never assume they know.

Unfailingly, I follow the Golden Rule. I treat others how I wish to be treated. In fact, I try to take it a step further and follow in the footsteps of my Lord, Jesus Christ, and be love and compassion for others. I take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. Those are the only things that belong to me. How others wish to feel, act or react is their own business. I can only be loving, kind and compassionate for others. That is how I would wish to be treated… with love, kindness and compassion.

When someone shares or vents online about an issue in their life, it is usually a call for attention and help. If they did not want compassion, then why air your laundry. I recall a time when I was feeling grievous; and, I talked and wrote about it by reaching out to friends both offline and online. In return, I got love and compassion, which I gracefully received from many people including some people I have never met face-to-face. My heart was filled with everyone’s love; and, I was deeply grateful.

My desire is to be a source of light and inspiration for others. To be love and express kindness and compassion to everyone, whether they want it or not. That is their business and their issue. I can only do my part to be a source of comfort and act as I believe a friend would act. I make no apologies for being the loving and kind person that I am. I don’t have to agree with an individual, but I will be respectful, loving, and kind.

Comments and feedback are always appreciated.

All rights reserved. ©2015 by A.K.Orobko

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