Why is it that some people are or seem more confident than others? Were they born that way or did they learn it? Perhaps it is a little of both; but, confidence does not have to be exclusive only to a few. There are many ways to build self-confidence. One way is to persuade yourself that you do not have to be perfect! Most people are not looking at your perceived “bad parts” or seeking to point out your “mistakes”.
Have you ever heard of the expression, “fake it until you make it?” That expression simply means to smile through your fear. Pretend you are confident in yourself until you really do feel secure with yourself and your skills/talents.
You can also practice those skills/talents with which you feel insecure. Practice builds confidence. Here are some simple steps on how you can build your self-esteem:
- Make a list of all the things you fear doing but want to do or try.
- Pick one; the one that you feel would be easy to do or try.
- Seek information on how to do it. See how others do it or tried it. YouTube is phenomenal for tutorials.
- Try it and then do it, over and over again.
- Repeat steps 2 through 4 until you complete the list.
But suppose you feel you are not physically attractive, how do you build self-confidence. That requires positive self-talk. Step outside yourself as if you were someone else (like a doting parent or best friend) looking at you. This will help you to become objective. What does this person see about you that is attractive? Perhaps it is your smile or maybe your cute freckles or perhaps it is your robust complexion. Accentuate your positives! Do you remember the song by Johnny Mercer and the Pied Pipers. This is the best verse:
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
Create a list of all the positives. Eliminate all the negative self-talk. Latch on to the affirmative through daily affirmations! And, do not concern yourself with anything in-between. Yes, there are things we can change about ourselves such as our muscle tone, weight and even things like the shape of our nose; however, if you are unhappy with who you truly are, then no amount of physical exercise, weight training, dieting and/or surgery will ever make you self-confident and happy. Let us learn to be happy with who we are; and, tell ourselves that we ARE truly wonderful.
To express confidence, we get to encourage ourselves that we do not need to be perfect; act confident even if we really are not, practice our learned skills and inherent talents, and speak positively about ourselves. Let us paraphrase Lady Gaga, “Baby, we were born this way!” and own our attributes, our characteristics and our confidence.
All rights reserved. ©2018 by A. K. Orobko