While the end-of-the-year holidays are usually joyful and fun for many, it may be difficult, taxing and hard for others. Some of us thrive on all the merry-making, partying, decorating, gift-giving, and card-sending; and, others are stressed out, annoyed, and/or irritated. You know, like Scrooge and his bah-humbugging! He had his backstory, right?
Annoyance! Irritation! Nuisance! These words are used to label those things and those people who pester, hassle, or displease us. The terms annoy, irritate and bother are words that have been used to suggest when a person’s harmony or balance has been upset or disturbed. “Annoy” implies that one’s patience is being worn thin by persistent petty unpleasantness.
I find it interesting how certain people, things, or events annoy some people but not others. Why is that? What annoys you? What does not annoy you? What repeated acts irritate, disturb or bother you? What or who is a source of discomfort…a nuisance? Do you think you could be a source of annoyance or irritation to others?
The interesting thing about annoyances, is that it is similar to treasures versus trash. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Put in another way, what may annoy one person, may be a source of value or joy to another. Acceptance and respect starts with people learning what each person in their lives value. What is each person’s story? It helps us to understand and be compassionate to those people who annoy us.
I have discovered over the years that there are 4 core groups of people with distinct characteristics, social styles and values. They each have their own story, their own way of thinking and doing things. They are the depicted as: Thinkers, Movers, Planners, and Connectors (www.personalitylingo.com).
Here are few of their traits and mindsets:
The Thinkers are: knowledgeable, questioning, private, independent, analytical, innovative, strategic, abstract, tenacious, and dry humored.They are logical thinkers.Thinkers have diverse interests with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. They prefer to keep their personal life private. Thinkers rely on their logic, having time to contemplate, and investigate all the facts before making a decision. They can be a fountain of information. Thinkers seek competency in their life. When presented with an idea, thinkers find it irresistible to evaluate, analyze and improve upon the idea. Expect the thinker to say things like: Hmm… I wonder why? Let me think about it. I could do it better myself. I’ve got an idea! Did you know?
The Movers are: playful, spontaneous, expedient, risk-takers, negotiators, charismatic straightforward, hands-on, tangible, and physical. They are the movers and shakers.As a lover of variety and new experiences, they enjoy a challenge and have a voracious eagerness to live life to the fullest. Movers value the here and the now; and, they are most comfortable when others welcome their flexible nature and spontaneity. They are direct, quick, and ready to charge ahead with confidence. Expect the mover to say things like: What are my options? Let’s make this fun! I want it NOW! This is a great opportunity! Enjoy today, tomorrow may never come.
The Planners are: respectful, organized, accountable, timely, consistent, traditional, loyal, hardworking, law-abiding, and responsible. They are responsible planners.They aim to create a life that is safe and secure, thriving in daily routine, structure, and traditions. They value commitment and completion and are most comfortable with clearly defined roles and expectations. They like having a plan and following rules. Expect the planner to say things like: Be prepared. A place for everything, everything in its place. We’ve always done it that way. Stick to the plan. I’ll put it on my list.
The Connectors are: supportive, thoughtful, empathetic, inspiring, accepting, passionate, creative, friendly, helpful, and peacemakers. They are people persons.They are caring, kind, and cooperative with a positive attitude and enjoy bringing out the best in others. They believe in true love and delight in romance. They value teamwork, diversity, and harmony. They make decisions that feel good, relying on their keen intuition. They are imaginative and take pleasure in self-expression. So that others feel included, they go out of the way validate and affirm them. Expect the connector to say things like: I feel it in my soul. Do you need a hug? Who am I? How may I help you? Compassion is key.
At first glance at each of these “stories,” you can see where annoyances and conflict could arise between each of these groups. However, with understanding and respect, it is easy to see how each of the personalities can really complement each other. With a bit of knowledge and more love and kindness, annoyances will no longer annoy. Let us remember that each of us have a story.